Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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