I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
