i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
