just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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