you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
