and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
