She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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