I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
