now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
