Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
