And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize