U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
40s are totally the cure
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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