he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
