Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
