My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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