You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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