it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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