I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
