remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
