I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
