If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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