i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
