Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
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Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
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I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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