is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
