I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
