i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
