Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
