D3 body, D1 cock
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
