"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
