I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
