He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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