The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
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once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
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Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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