my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
