This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
