Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
