in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
