You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We left the knife in your bed.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
