hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
