in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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