he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The Olympian is in my bed
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
