I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
