I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
