For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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