i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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