I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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