he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I am full of burrito and curiosity
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
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