This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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