i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize