All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize