420 ftw
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
