susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds