I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment