I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year