party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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