Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer

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  (586): But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance (1-586): Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer http://tfl.nu/kou5
  Replies (1) Good night (1054) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?

  (914): View more from New York

  please be gone before i get back

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  (201): i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf? (914): please be gone before i get back http://tfl.nu/y347
  Replies (2) Good night (793) Bad night (1360)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Lets date for the summer

  (815): View more from Illinois

  what?

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Dont love me in September.

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  (480): Lets date for the summer (815): what? (480): Dont love me in September. http://tfl.nu/x30e
  Replies (8) Good night (2153) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.

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  (212): I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home. http://tfl.nu/lyh0
  Replies (7) Good night (2350) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?

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  (901): why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it? http://tfl.nu/zj16
  Replies (16) Good night (2153) Bad night (2163)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?

  (1-337): View more from Louisiana

  4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  mom cant say that college never taught us math

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  (337): if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning? (1-337): 4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds (337): mom cant say that college never taught us math http://tfl.nu/a37s
  Replies (41) Good night (4249) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos

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  (914): Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos http://tfl.nu/qe5u
  Replies (33) Good night (2692) Bad night (4968)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match

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  (720): I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match http://tfl.nu/pm5g
  Replies (11) Good night (4280) Bad night (1368)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.

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  (707): I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard. http://tfl.nu/m0o4
  Replies (3) Good night (1614) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.

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  (937): Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car. http://tfl.nu/1lh8
  Replies (7) Good night (513) Bad night (1817)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?

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  (703): Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday? http://tfl.nu/wnf1
  Replies (8) Good night (1619) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.

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  (727): It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm. http://tfl.nu/84qt
  Replies (4) Good night (2015) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.

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  (+44): I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning. http://tfl.nu/v2mo
  Replies (8) Good night (1912) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.

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  (870): Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic. http://tfl.nu/y3t4
  Replies (9) Good night (1217) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.

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  (906): I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day. http://tfl.nu/pyr7
  Replies (9) Good night (1409) Bad night (386)

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