I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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