Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS

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  (917): Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS http://tfl.nu/k9df
  Replies (97) Good night (1835) Bad night (7778)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.

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  (405): I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave. http://tfl.nu/m2vh
  Replies (30) Good night (4119) Bad night (806)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  it was average length and chubby

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  so kinda like him?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...

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  (919): it was average length and chubby (1-919): so kinda like him? (919): now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis... http://tfl.nu/92b0
  Replies (50) Good night (4478) Bad night (1134)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?

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  (617): So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus? http://tfl.nu/bsxq
  Replies (19) Good night (1229) Bad night (5690)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina

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  (573): Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina http://tfl.nu/35k1
  Replies (7) Good night (741) Bad night (2786)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.

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  (248): Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins. http://tfl.nu/7yz7
  Replies (2) Good night (1721) Bad night (1041)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?

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  (719): Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I? http://tfl.nu/9iuq
  Replies (7) Good night (640) Bad night (1837)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1

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  (865): We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1 http://tfl.nu/rd3z
  Replies (9) Good night (885) Bad night (626)
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  (916): View more from California

  I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge

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  (916): I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge http://tfl.nu/9m2f
  Replies (4) Good night (1099) Bad night (1028)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence

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  (616): he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence http://tfl.nu/qzxi
  Replies (3) Good night (1748) Bad night (701)
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  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.

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  (+31): Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming. http://tfl.nu/ki11
  Replies (4) Good night (2058) Bad night (418)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.

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  (208): There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science. http://tfl.nu/775a
  Replies (3) Good night (338) Bad night (492)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  the manischevitz sangria was a big hit

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  (202): the manischevitz sangria was a big hit http://tfl.nu/msd0
  Replies (3) Good night (482) Bad night (335)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'

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  (902): I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me' http://tfl.nu/k715
  Replies (4) Good night (649) Bad night (329)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.

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  (417): Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess. http://tfl.nu/qhcv
  Replies (6) Good night (657) Bad night (401)

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