My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.