You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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