know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
