Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
