32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
