Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
