the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
