Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i just had sex bonerless
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
