did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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