Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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