He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
