YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
