I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
