and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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