I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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