he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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