Kiss
Puke
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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