I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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