so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
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