Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
