im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
