you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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